Elon Musk and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad coddled tech worker

Subject: Remote work is no longer acceptable

Setting the mood nicely 👌

Anyone who wishes to do remote work must be in the office for a minimum (and I mean *minimum*) of 40 hours per week or depart Tesla.

Strong open with setting the expectation of an impossible-to-navigate implicit expectation around how many hours you should work. 

This is less than we ask of factory workers.

Who’s coddled? Could it be the executives? 

If there are particularly exceptional contributors for whom this is impossible, I will review and approve those exceptions directly. 

Exceptions only for those that attend ‘cuddle puddle’ parties with Elon

Moreover, the “office” must be a main Tesla office, not a remote branch unrelated to the job duties,

I’m always a sucker for poorly used quotes. “Office” Is it really?!

For example being responsible for Fremont factory human relations, but having your office in another state

You can guarantee this is not a hypothetical example to illustrate the point. 

Thanks, 

Elon

Seems like ‘Regards’ would be more prudent here

Subject: To be super clear

🤔

Everyone at Tesla is required to spend a minimum of 40 hours in the office per week.

You didn’t even say anything about working lol. Someone should tell him the secret that less work gets done in an office. 

Moreover, the office must be where your actual colleagues are located, not some remote pseudo office.

Actual colleagues like the white Elon-worshipping bros. Forget the critical DEI benefits of remote work. Oh yeah, Happy Pride Month! 

If you don’t show up, we will assume you’ve resigned.

👋

The more senior you are, the more visible must be your presence.

I thought we decided that just being there is not leadership?

That is why I lived in the factory so much – so that those on the line could see me working alongside them.

Chef’s kiss using “lived” when 40 hours *minimum* is your expectation

If I had not done that, Tesla would long ago have gone bankrupt.

What did turnover look like during that time?

There are of course companies that don’t require this, but when was the last time they shipped a great new product? It’s been a while.

TikTok is pretty popular these days. Their employees work mostly remotely. 

Tesla has and will create and actually manufacture the most exciting and meaningful products of any company on Earth.

Assuming there are people left to do so. 

This will not happen by phoning it in.

Thanks for working in our toxic culture where I could care less about your hard work during a pandemic, a racial justice movement, a climate emergency, and divisive politics. A ring I’m happily entering. Send me your hot takes @elonmusk

Thanks,

Elon

Deuces ✌️,

Elon